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Default Finding NROI - no return on investment and RONI - return on noinvestment in Excel

The experts please, as I have given up doing what I do to make a living

Most of you know me be my many names I use and what I do for living

It seems my enterprises or stuff I create offer me NROI - no return on investment

Yet at the same time I meet people at the corner grocery store who made a quick million taking my stuff and selling it as their own thus getting RONI - return on no investment

How do I program these two functions in Excel

And why is it me that gets haunted for life for speaking their mind in public

I am politically incorrect and very proud of it and do not see that I will change my mind in the near future

I get mistaken as a brown man when that is not true,

In reality I am a white man trapped in a brown body or at least a white mind implanted in brown body (1987) and the brown 17 year kid is dead

When I ask big companies line Microsoft, and Apple to buy my product I hear a laughter

When I go looking for work I see frowns on peoples faces

When I had a job at Ciba Geigy in Ardsely, New York in 1992 I was called the "Joke of the company"

When I went to Con Edison in Rye, New York for a six months internship I was the outcast in an all white QA department

Then the "thought Police" took over the case and the media moguls in New York called me the "Joke of the century" and also "This clown ain't funny"

Then the rest of the time period (20 years) spent in a foreign land where I have to obey Allah's order without whose permission I am not allowed to go back home to New York

So, does someone has the Excel NROI and RONI formulas that will solve my problem

Thank you
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