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Tony
if you could post on here without being a clueless MDB newbie; that would help also i dont need responses. i need people to start speaking the TRUTH. you guys slam DAP and ADP all day long. you slam VB. if you dont want an argument; then you guys need to stop talking trash. all im doing is giving you 10% of your own egocentricism back in your face. |
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aaron -
Unlike Mr. Toews, I note that you are neither valuable, nor professional. If your use of spreadsheets involves re-creating them several times a week or 'copying and pasting' 100 times over, perhaps you should get back to basics. Press 'F1' on your keyboard, and type the word 'macro' into the speech bubble that the cute animated assistant offers. You may well learn something. |
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Wow man, don't be all mad at me cause your lack of people skills (which you
are showing right this second) is screwing up your life. Besides you have no idea what I do for a living. But I'll give you a hint. One of them is devolop databases. I just happen to feel excel is less labor intensive for a lot of things. I mean why go to all the trouble to use a database and set things up manually when it's frequently all prebuilt and at your fingertips. Remeber the idea is to get the job done in a reasonable amount of time. Not prove how smart you are. Or do the "optimum" solution. More over you CAN email out reports from excel automaticlly you are just ignorant as to how. Finally even if you email your database reports out, how pray tell would you make them interactive without emailing out the entire database or setting up access to said. This get's even more complicated if you have personal offsite. wrote in message ups.com... and just for the record; you trendy asshole just because there's more people doing it; it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. that is why you are a disease. GROUPTHINK numbnuts. do you really believe that the sheer count of people has anything to do with what people should learn? i mean-- you idiots have been coasting for too ****ing long and you aren't worth minimum wage. eat **** spreadsheet dip**** you can't crunch numbers better than i can you can't 'ANALYZE DATA' better than i can. you sit there and copy and paste the same ****ing thing 100 times. big ****ing deal. you dont deserve 10 cents an hour. BECAUSE YOU GUYS SIT THERE AND BUILD THE SAME SPREADSHEET WEEK IN AND WEEK OUT. I mean.. what the **** who do you think you are? Excel is a disease; and you all are lepers |
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Gee I don't know about that Tony... This DOES seem to be the most active
thread in the group :-S "Tony Toews" wrote in message ... and just for the record; Aaron If you could respond in a decent fashion without flipping your lid you'd get better responses. Tony -- Tony Toews, Microsoft Access MVP Please respond only in the newsgroups so that others can read the entire thread of messages. Microsoft Access Links, Hints, Tips & Accounting Systems at http://www.granite.ab.ca/accsmstr.htm |
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"Oorang" wrote:
Gee I don't know about that Tony... This DOES seem to be the most active thread in the group :-S <chuckle Tony -- Tony Toews, Microsoft Access MVP Please respond only in the newsgroups so that others can read the entire thread of messages. Microsoft Access Links, Hints, Tips & Accounting Systems at http://www.granite.ab.ca/accsmstr.htm |
PLEASE READ IF YOU PROGRAM: Help Continue Visual Basic
you're a dip****; it's the wrong platform kids
spreadsheets; all spreadsheets-- involve cutting and pasting the same formula 100 times. -Aaron |
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EXCEL DOESNT HAVE REPORTS THAT WHY I HATE IT AND I THINK THAT ALL
SPREADSHEET DORKS SHOULD DIE A PAINFUL DEATH. |
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just for the record; no i dont get any specs; i deliver solutions
half of my work is fixing spreadsheet messes. the other half is fixing MDB messes. SQL Server is the answer to all your problems; you guys need to lose the training wheels and start doing real dev. i mean-- if you're going to write it; write it correctly the first time instead of having a 2gb limit and crap performance |
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wrote...
.... spreadsheets; all spreadsheets-- involve cutting and pasting the same formula 100 times. It's the spreadsheet equivalent of iteration. What's the matter? Having some difficulty getting matrix inversion code programmed in VBA? |
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PLEASE READ IF YOU PROGRAM: Help Continue Visual Basic
hahaha good stuff harlan
so you measure my brilliance based on how many threads i have with end function, huh? END FUNCTION i'll end your function spreadsheet dork |
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i prey on small companies?
hahaha no i develop small apps on a small budget and i do a damn good job i couldn't find the UDF i was looking for; all i know is that subqueries are about 100 times more powerful than anything that excel can do so go and play with your little barbies kids YAY let's play with perl and python and excel (i'll have a chance to do the inversion thing soon) |
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harlan
just for the record; im not a programmer; im db folk and i eat spreadsheet dorks like you for breakfast and btw, how is you report against 66k rows? rofl what you gonna do when you hit the 64k limit, harlan? i'll find a function that does this magic math you talk about.. i mean-- it's NOT rocketscience |
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wrote...
just for the record; im not a programmer; im db folk .... and btw, how is you report against 66k rows? You seem to need repetition, not that it's likely to work: I DON'T PRODUCE REPORTS. I use a few canned spreadsheet templates that combine some time series forecasting with discounted cashflow analysis, and a few others that read in output from external simulation programs (.EXEs). I maintain a few others for use by field office users (including myself) that are little more than simple UIs for interpolating various factors from table lookups. None of these use more than 3000 rows. I'll repeat: use the best tool for the task. Managing tens of thousands of records isn't something spreadsheets do well, and I don't misuse spreadsheets for that sort of thing. If you do, that's your problem. what you gonna do when you hit the 64k limit, harlan? Since I never will (since I won't misuse spreadsheets for the type of data that spans that many records), moot point. i'll find a function that does this magic math you talk about.. i mean-- it's NOT rocketscience No, not rocket science, but anything more than counting your fingers and toes (and your written records in newsgroups suggests you're one of the lucky inbred few with more than 10 and 10) seems to take you a LONG TIME to figure out. Since I'm getting tired of waiting, I'll help you out. Since you've proven you can't recognize Pascal, I'm going to assume you're only competent in BASIC. Here's a link to a PDF (no doubt more bitching & griping to come) showing some old style BASIC code (with LINE NUMBERS) showing a workable procedure. http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~wkahan/MathH110/gji.pdf Perhaps you're competent to translate BASICA into VBA (unproven, so surprise me). The devil's still going to be in reading source matrices from DBMS tables and writing result matrices back to DBMS tables. |
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i call bull**** on that
you make the same friggin spreadsheet week in and week out sure you change some numbers it just would be much mroe efficient to automate it with a real program spreadsheets are for girlie-men and perl and python aren't the answer to your problems. fine.. screw microsoft; use crystal reports and mysql for all i care. all i know is that you sit there and make the same-- or similiar spreadsheets all the time. and it would be in YOUR best interests to start doing things with VALUE instead of throwing time and money at copy and pastedom http://www.fmsinc.com/tpapers/genaccess/DBOD.asp --------------- Millions of databases are created in Excel spreadsheets each year, but only a tiny percentage "graduate" to the next level: Access. Similarly, only a tiny percentage of Access applications graduate to a more sophisticated solution. In the interim, a huge number of database needs are solved completely by Access. Access is simply the best at what it does. An IT manager needs to understand and use Access tactically, and anticipates that some Access applications migrate over time. This is not an indictment on Access, but rather the natural process of database evolution as business needs change. Sure, it would have been better to build that Access application with a more sophisticated platform from the beginning, but it was impossible to predict it would be that important when it was first created. Similarly, is it possible to predict which 2% of databases created this year need to migrate three years from now? Most will run perfectly fine in Access forever or go extinct. Making a big investment today makes no sense when a simpler, less risky Access solution is possible. Let time determine which databases evolve and require additional investment to take them to the next level. The key is to anticipate this. Even when Access applications evolve to another platform, Access scales by supporting the migration of Jet to SQL Server while preserving the application development investment. The features developed for Access can be rolled into the new platform guaranteeing the success of the new system (or at least minimizing end-user objections). In that case, Access proved to be a great prototype. The savvy IT manager learns when Access is effective and when it's not. If it can be done in Access, the ROI is superior to alternate technologies. Taking advantage of the strengths of Access gives your organization a significant competitive advantage both financially and in response to user, market, and customer conditions. |
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i can write matrices and read matrices all the time
'oh no, you need to handle multi-dimensinal sources' im the king of multidimensional asshole you can't even do real pivotTables kid |
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hey im not claiming anything
you're a frigging idiot and you make the exact same spreadsheet 3 times a week. eat **** and get a real job and go and play with your python and perl you wimp i mean-- there are better ways to do your job that with excel.. i would reccommend using paper and pencil instead of excel |
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oh harlan
you're sooooo cute i mean.. just because we're both slinging mud at each other; it doesn't mean you shoudl try to attack me. you see; im a programmer; i make six figures and i have work coming out of my ears. you're a worthless spreadsheet dork that should be living on the streets. do you honestly think that learning perl and python are in the best interests of excel dorks? i mean seriously.. what's the point-- the most practical language to learn is VB6 / VBA. im sorry that MS is too drunk to support their existing, current programming languages. but you guys are sitting around; without a hope in the world. and you really think that your math is too hard for my FREE databases? grow up harlan; lose the training wheels. im sorry that you work for a company that is too cheap to give you MS access. i mean-- it IS the most popular database in the world; and you kids sit around and make the same damn xls week in and week out it's like.. grow the hell up; either use crystal or Access or stop crunching numbers. |
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wrote...
.... do you honestly think that learning perl and python are in the best interests of excel dorks? i mean seriously.. what's the point-- the most practical language to learn is VB6 / VBA. VB6, no. VBA yes. For cleansing data in text files, nothing is better than Perl. A Perl command line script under 80 characters can do more than Excel or most databases to fix most common data formatting headaches. So, yes, I'd recommend learning simple Perl scripts for anyone who wants to avoid having to use VBA to run procedures that'd have to process text files via Open/Line Input, Print #/Close. Python isn't as compact, and its regular expression syntax isn't as comprehensive as that of Perl, but may people find it easier to use. For those who just can't stand Perl (and there are plenty of them), Python is the most reasonable alternative. BTW, check this out. http://www.tiobe.com/tpci.htm Leads me to wonder who in their right mind wastes time with VBScript. im sorry that MS is too drunk to support their existing, current programming languages. You don't get it. VB6, like Office 97, was good enough that too many people haven't upgraded. Solution? Spread FUD among corporate IT buyers that managed code and .Net are necessities. Get 'em to upgrade. In 4 or 5 years Microsoft will unveil another Great New Paradigm when too many programmers start to believe Visual Studio 2005 is good enough not to need to upgrade. Microsoft isn't irrational (but an irrational fool such as you can't be expected to understand this). They just place a much higher priority on revenues and profits than on the quality of their software. If quality is required to sell product, they'll improve the quality of their code, but that's necessarily a last resort compared to adding new features that introduce new bugs but give their marketing department much more to work with. but you guys are sitting around; without a hope in the world. and you really think that your math is too hard for my FREE databases? .... Seems to be. Where's your code, genius? Unclear on the concept PUT UP OR SHUT UP? it's like.. grow the hell up; either use crystal or Access or stop crunching numbers. If only it were possible to do anything slightly complicated using either. Until you show us the way, I'll be stuck believing Access is capable of little more than counting and summing. I do believe databases make good storage subsystems, but they're just not up to serious analysis. And you're not up to figuring out the difference between analysis and report generation. |
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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HIT 64K ROWS, KID?
little script kiddie Aaron, The fact that you would even ask the question regarding 65,536 rows, just goes to show your ignorance. Like, I said the right tool for the right job... By the way when I hit 64K rows I would still have 1,536 to go! I will use access, mysql, sas, oracle, notepad, or even crayons and construction paper! Whatever serves my needs the best, but when you make statements like "[I would never use] Excel in the real world" -- it kind of makes you out to be the "One Trick Pony". You obviously are not a professional, because you clearly do not understand the needs of the "Real World", or customers in the "Real World". You can pretend that "Real World" only needs what you are endorsing, but you are wrong. Chances are you are the "Kiddie" here, judging by the immaturity of your responses. And the verdict is still out on whether or not you are the "Script Kiddie". Go get them tiger, the whole world is against you, but you know that you are right! So, keep striking out in angst -- you really are a sad, sad boy. |
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for cleansing things in text files, nothign works better than PERL?
HOW ABOUT ACCESS ASS-MUNCH? how about VISUAL BASIC? wouldn't you rather know ONE language than a dozen? I mean-- you can use ONE language for excel macros, outlook macros, access macros, etl in DTS.. you can use ONE language for everything you need to do from server-side scripting to clientside scripting.. I mean-- gag me with a spoon, harlan. so sorry that I got the 65536 limit confused with the 64k limit of childen in a level (for real pivotTables).. sue me Access doesn't have those types of limits; so i just consider anything to do with Excel as being inferior for my needs. and again, Harlan. you can sit there with your cush job and drive your BMW.. and you can pretend that you're VALUABLE because you are an 'analyst'. I call hogwash on your ass; all you do is crunch numbers; and you do it poorly. I mean.. you sit there and copy and paste the same formulas 1000 times. what happens when you need to change a calculation? you open up a dozen spreadsheets and change the formula in about 10,000 different places it's just a waste of time i eat excel dorks like you for breakfast |
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wow harlan
you really are on crack i can parse whatever you can; only easier. and i DONT know any products that cost $10,000 per seat. Analysis Services ships free with SQL Server standard edition which is like $6k per processor. one olap servers to go for 100 excel dorks like yourself so you can have 'real pivot tables'. Excel isn't free. Excel is a disease; and im sorry that management at your company are lepers. they are infected. there is only one place for you harlan; and all spreadsheet dorks like you.. living on a street; drinking wine out of a brown paper bag. that is where your career is heading.. you guys 'choose not to participate' in some of the most exciting things to ever happen in the computer industry. spreadsheets didn't allow amazon.com spreadsheets dont run gmail spreadsheets dont run ebay i just think that you're whacked in the head, harlan spreadsheets are for girlie men like yourself i mean.. what are you going to do when you hit the 65536 limit? lol gag me with a spoon; i mean-- this isn't 1994 anymore |
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wrote...
.... i can parse whatever you can; only easier. .... OK, given my 2 record example, show how you'd eliminate the commas in the currency fields or import 4 fields in each record into a database table. Maybe you're up to that challenge since matrix inversion is beyond your capabilities (minimal as they are). |
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ok i will. just a coupel of dlookups (or subqueries) and a couple of
cartesians there's not a damn thing i cant do |
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haha im not in a hole
im not the one that spends week in and week out building the same damn spreadsheet you guys are in a hole i can do this; i just have a fulltime job and a bunch of contracting thigns on the side; and 3 kids to deal with at home.. i dont have a ton of time to look into this; but i will try this weekend (in between clients) i haven't ever had any math in the db world that is even challenging; i mean.. sum this sum that none of it is slightly challenging i took 3 semesters of college calc 15 years ago; i know i can do this all i know is that subqueries and views and user-defined functions are more powerful than copying and pasting formulas around. i know it and you guys are crazy for not seeing the light |
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wrote...
haha im not in a hole Quite so. You *are* a hole, an metaphysical absence of anything remotely associated with intellect. Then there are the holes in your head, more and larger than those normal humans possess. i can do this; i just have a fulltime job and a bunch of contracting thigns on the side; and 3 kids to deal with at home.. i dont have a ton of time to look into this; but i will try this weekend (in between clients) Excuses. I already gave you an out: start off by showing code which you must *already* have to convert a table of, say, 4 records and 4 fields of double precision floating point numbers into a VBA array perhaps named SourceArray, then a stub function call like ResultArray = MatrixInverseStillToBeWritten(SourceArray) then create a new DBMS table from ResultArray. Someone who claims to be such an expert at Access, DBMSs in general and VBA must have written such procedures before. Do you lack access to the code? You've claimed that you can do any calculations in Access or VBA that I can do in Excel, and you've claimed you can do them faster. It seems the only small chink in this edifice of calculation proficiency you've proclaimed for yourself is writing the code needed to reinvent Excel's existing functionality. So if you're as good at VBA as you've claimed you are, but you can't provide a working solution after a whole week, what chance would anyone who's never programmed in BASIC or any other procedural or OO language have writing code to get Access to do what Excel can do out of the box? You don't see any defects in your arguments to date?! i haven't ever had any math in the db world that is even challenging; i mean.. sum this sum that Yup. That's what databases are good at: summing, counting, categorizing. They're not really meant for linear algegraic operations. Neither is VBA. [If only Microsoft would add the MAT statements from PowerBASIC or TrueBASIC.] none of it is slightly challenging i took 3 semesters of college calc 15 years ago; i know i can do this Oh, certainly. Why anyone can write robust numerical code. They just won't take as long as you seem to need. All you need to do is translate existing code into VBA. However, since you apparently don't know any other languages, and there's a dearth of VB[A] matrix inversion routines on the web, you're screwed. So much for VB[A] being the only language you need to know. Wassa madda, you couldn't even figure out the BASICA code to which I posted a link in http://groups.google.com/group/micro...1e6c06cb50add0 ?! all i know is that subqueries and views and user-defined functions are more powerful than copying and pasting formulas around. For counting, summing and categorizing, sure. For inverting matrices or generating all permutations of sets of distinct tokens, no way. No single software tool or language is any more universally appropriate for any & all applications than any single hand-held tool is universally appropriate for any & all woodworking tasks. You know how to use a hammer, and you think your hammer is a better saw, screwdriver, drill, . . . i know it and you guys are crazy for not seeing the light The light you see is the train coming at you in the dark tunnel into which you've blundered. |
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ALL MATH IS SUMMING, CATEGORIZING DIP****
i mean seriously here.. is your math 'magic math' are you harry potter? friggin idiot I can generate permutations easier than you. it's called a CARTESIAN. I'm not the one that sees that one tool fits the need for everything. you're the spreadsheet dork that uses spreadsheets for EVERYTHING you sit around and build the same damn XLS week in and week out. I'm not the one that uses a one-size fits all mentality. YOU ARE HARLAN. and when stuff doesn't fit your peachy little app you run out and use PERL and PYTHON? ****ing idiot use VBA / VBS / VB6 |
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and you REALLY think that arrays are that complex?
i mean-- seriously harlan.. what are you looking for 'yes, you are right.. databases can't handle arrays' ****ing idiot. spreadsheets can't handle arrays buddy databases handle 2-dimensional stuff just fine.. and everything you've ever touched is 2-dimensional by definition.. if you really want the heavy math; you do OLAP i mean. .it's got a lot more functions that you spreadsheet dorks are familiar with |
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