I am dealing with two worksheets in a large workbook. For the purposes of
public discussion, let's say:
Sheet One has a column listing all the characters on The Wire, and a column
that is blank or has a description of any beef that the row's character has
with Omar.
The second sheet has a list of all the characters who have died.
I want a formula in a new column on Sheet Two that will reference Sheet one
and pull the beef for each character.

The list of names on Sheet One is longer so the names are not in the same
order on both sheets. Also, the "Names" column is a different letter column
on each sheet.

This is not my workbook - I cannot use VBA, change settings, insert a pivot
table, or move things around. The only thing I can do for my piece is insert
a column on Sheet Two. (or cut and past from one to two everytime some
changes something!)

Example Sheet One
Column A......Column B
Frank Sobotka...[Is Blank]
Prop Joe...........Stole my shipment
D'Angelo...........Looked at me sideways

Example Sheet Two
Column D......Column K
Frank Sobotka...[Is Blank]
D'Angelo...........[Magical formula that I swear I knew at one time]

How can this be accomplished?