wrote...
....
opposite condition. For example, I have a column of attributes.
98% of them are "Large", 2% of them are almost anything else, and
not consistent. I was looking for a syntax sort of like:

=MATCH(NOT("Large"),A:A,0)

That's the idea, anyway, but that doesn't work ;-)

It requires an array formula, so it can't operate on entire columns.

=MATCH(FALSE,A1:A65535="Large",0)