MikeDH wrote...
....
I need to have a column auto-updating from every-other column of a row on a
different worksheet - literal example:

'ValleyResultsVsBadDay' column A is identical to Column (B,D,F,H,J,L, etc. -
all the even-indexed ones) Row 5 of 'ValleyLots'.
....

If the first formula would be in ValleyResultsVsBadDay!A2 (modify as
needed), use

A2:
=OFFSET(ValleyLots!$B$5,0,2*(ROWS(A$2:A2)-1))

Select A2 and fill down as needed. There's no need for either INDIRECT
or ADDRESS.

If the worksheet would also vary, consider

=OFFSET(INDIRECT("'"&WorksheetNameHere&"'!A5"),0,2 *ROWS(A$2:A2)-1)

or

=INDIRECT("'"&WorksheetNameHere&"'!R5C"&(2*ROWS(A$ 2:A2)),0)

As for address, I need to make the formula updating forever, so it serves my
....

My point is that there's NEVER a need to use INDIRECT(ADDRESS(..)).
Anything you could accomplish with INDIRECT(ADDRESS(..)) could be
accomplished using either OFFSET or INDIRECT with R1C1 references with
one fewer level of nested function calls.